My mom has been sick for the past 3 weecks , but she went to work anyway. why? bcuz she works for her sister and she said she can't let her down. tonight she comes home barely able to stand on her own 2 feet. she went to the hospital with her bf (guess the bastard is good having around sometimes). she pucked a lot before she left and she was trembling and white as a sheet. i don't know what to expect. i'm afraid.
me and grandma have been up to our elbows in work. grandma coocked all day today. and still has some dishes to cook for tomorow. i ended up doing countless trips to the market and so on for all the supplies. and that's no easy task considering everyone has gone crazy and are just walking around like lunatics , not even looking where they're going. yesterday some bitch almost walked all over my litle cousin. wtf? can't she see he's just a kid? my back and arms are killing me from all the pounds i've carried so far. and i still have about half of the house to clean white. and tomorow i have to pick up my friend from the airport (that is if mom will be allright).
and all this for what? so i can stay around the table for 2 days , stuff my face with specific christmas food and say merry christmas? it's a damn waist of time and energy. and a part why mom was so exausted. the store is full non stop this time of year. she didn't get a brake . i don't know if she even got a chance to eat anything today. judging from what she pucked i'd say not. it was all liquid.
so we all are basically in over our heads with work and my aunt is just sitting at home. and grandma goes to defend her : "maybe she's cleaning". wel fuck , i have a house to clean too but i still broke my back , my arms and my nerves carrying all the meat and fruits and vegetables and god knows what else.
right now i'm pissed at my aunt and the whole concept of christmas in general , i'm in a huge amount of pain bcuz of my sprained muscles but most of all i'm worried about mom.
if i hear anyone tell me merry christmas i'm gonna tell them to go fuck themselves. i hate these stupid hollidays.

( Oh yei, cookies~ )

One day left, but




Have a sweet time you all, and remember to be as happy you can! 

me and the boys want to wish u a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

opes u will forget about me congratulate you so late while looking at hot guys :Ph






credits for the pic to xiaoyuugaara . hope you don't mind me using your beautiful pic.

k , don't mine me too much. I'm a bit dizzy from red wine and I suddenly felt the urge to write. actually I felt the urge to talk but at this hour there' s no one to talk to. besides , I've been meaning to wrtie in LJ for quite some time now but somehow couldn't bring myself to do it. and there's so much I want to talk about but my mind is a litle fuzzy and plaing triks on me and somehow I can't focus enough on what I want to say.
I suck at school , I've been falling behind with my classes and can't seem to be able to get back at my feet. I've been sleeping so much lately that I think I'm going into hybernation. my informatics teacher hates me and the feeling is mutual. i failed a big test on Japanese history because I misunderstood some terms and now I feel depressed about it. my English teachers thinks we're all idiots and I've proven him his point by writing some completly ridiculous stuff in the test he gave us. he asked stuff like "is robinson crusoe a novel? explain your answer" . well how the heck am I supposed to answer that since he doesn't teach us anything? he just gave us some novels and ridiculosly long poems written in old Englsih and told us to make an oral presentation and a written one on 2 diferent texts. and I have yet to do mine cause I'm terefied at speaking in public and much more so since he has a sort of look on his face that simply screams IDIOTS when he looks at us while we do our presentations. and I went and wrote something like a letter of appology instead of answering the questions in the test . something that begun with dear sir and i wrote a whole lot of shit in there based on how i was feeling at the moment. and i hope he at least gets a good laugh at it and not think that i tried to make fun of him cause if he thinks that i'm toast.
so basically i'm failing in school and i haven't found a job so we are having a very hard time with debts piling up on us.
and what do i do in a time like this? instead of at least study my ass off and try to get back on my feet since the exams are practically knocking on the door , i go and get obssesed over naruto again and i spend my whole day reading fanfics about it. and some erotic ones mind you. and now i find myself craving to cuddle up to some one and be held by someone . it's all those damn fanfics fault. sentences like "he wraped his strong arms around her slender waist and pulled her into the warmth of his chest". wtf? i never needed a guy before. i was selfish and enjoyed spreading all over my bed and now i find myself wanting to share it with someone. i think i'm sick. something's wrong with me. instead of focusing on how i can solve my problems i dream about someone holding me X_X i'm such a fail
an this is probably too much info for u guys. i can't remember how to do the lj cut and can't be bothered to look for it right now so just ignore this.
odd enough i don't feel better. usually i felt better after writing about it but now it's just ... weird.
where's prince charming to ask me to maryy him and help me pay all the debts and give my mom an easy life? i think i've watched to many movies and i've read to much fanfic.
earth to me .... WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!